TandC Associates, LLC

Lesson 14 – Sense of Worth, Respectability and Values

Having provided many member comments on employment as part of the rehabilitation process, it is now relevant to show the ways employment and other factors have affected and improved the lives of members in terms of self-worth, respectability and values.

In speaking at Fountain House’s Annual Employers Dinner Meeting, Joseph acknowledged the importance of employment in achieving this end:          

“And then something wonderful happened to me. I got a TE job…and this was a great opportunity for me, and I continued on.  I went on other TE’s…and as I was doing this, over the course of 1½ years, something happened to me. I built up self-esteem, confidence, pride and dignity, for the first time in ten years.  I was off Social Security Income for the first time in ten years, I was self-sufficient, I had my own apartment, I took care of my own clothes and my food, and for the first time in ten years, I’m no longer a burden to my family and to my community, but am a working part of that community.”

Rose spoke movingly about what was important in her life:

“Well, when you’re not employed, you’re nothing worth.  You don’t have any money.  You have money, but it isn’t yours.  It’s just to pay rent and you can’t buy things you want to buy like you see a dress for $9 or $10.  You say you can’t buy that, so you have to buy less and you say, well, you will do without it, so you make the best of the clothes you have.  Like the year before, you bought a skirt and you say, ‘Well, that skirt is good and I’ll wear it.  And I’m satisfied because I know that I look clean and neat and respectable.’ ”

Kathy writes about this lesson:

“(When) I have had to look back, and thinking about all that I have had to endure because of self-stigmatization has caused me to relive much of the pain all over again, albeit in a relatively minor way.  Therein lies the main point I wish to elucidate: once I win a battle, especially one that is big and tough, even though I may have to go through it all over again, it is never, but never, nearly as hard to fight as it was the first time.

For me, this is a major source of satisfaction, contentment, and a true sense of self-esteem and overall well-being.  This is so despite the fact that, before my psychiatric hospitalization, when I could no longer withstand the pain of being alive and I had, in fact, almost committed suicide… my life now, without qualification, is definitely worth living.

I simply wish to state that I am alive and well and I recognize the signs of the need to push myself forward once again.  However, no one, including myself, can yet predict in what direction I may grow, what changes I may make, and so forth.  Am I scared of what lies ahead?  Yes, but I have learned that it is well worth confronting fears head on and coping with them, for it means that I am in control of my own life by making my own decisions and selecting my own choices out of the plethora of options life offers me—indeed, that life offers all of us, if only we can open our eyes wide enough to see them.”

Margie wrote about how Fountain House has helped her in this area:

“As a member of Fountain House, I would like to share my opinion and observations… From my point of view, this house belongs to the members.  This may be the first time in our lives that we have experienced self-respect and safety.  I don’t want to lose a moment of that feeling.

This series is an abstraction from a larger writing, pending publication; therefore, any reference to (or quotation from) any of the series must be made with the expressed permission of the author. Requests may be directed to this E-mail address:

tandcassociates@gmail.com

As always, readers’ comments and feedback are cordially welcome at the URL below, or at the same e-mail address listed.